Fear of the dark, fear there may be a monster in the closet, or
simply a fear of going to bed – these are all relatively common fears for young
children at some point during their childhood. How you, as parents and/or
guardians, address your child’s fears and offer reassurance will affect his or
her ability to fall asleep and stay asleep.
Here are some tips to help your child overcome nighttime fears:
- What is your child afraid of? Begin by identifying the fear. Listen
to your child. Ask open-ended questions to allow your child to tell you what
makes him or her scared at bedtime. Don’t make fun of your child’s fears.
What may seem funny or trivial to you is very real to your child.
- Do not support belief in your child’s imaginative creatures. Even
stating that you will somehow destroy "the creature" confirms for your child
that the creature does exist. This delays bedtime rather than provides
comfort.
- Reassure your child’s safety. If your child has a hard time being
separated from you, reassure him or her, but then tuck your child back into
his or her own bed -- be gentle, yet firm about staying in bed. When your
child calls out, ask again what is wrong. Then tell your child that
everything is okay, that he or she is safe, that nothing will bother him or
her, and that they can sleep comfortably in their own bed all night. Telling
your child to stay in his or her own bed and that everything is okay will
teach your child to trust that his or her own bed is a safe place to be and
keep them from leaving their bedroom.
If you need to, it is better to join your child in their
room to provide comfort than to let them leave their bedroom and join
you in yours or in the living room. It is not recommended that you stay
in your child’s room unless your child is extremely frightened.
Another option is to tell your child that you promise to check in on him
or her briefly, stretching the time out, beginning in 5 minutes, then
checking in every 10 minutes, then every 15 minutes, etc, until he or
she is asleep. This assures the child that you will be there to check
and that he or she is not alone.