The following suggestions can help when your child does not want
to go to bed or is having trouble staying in bed:
Maintain firm bedtime rules. Your child will benefit from
the structure and rules you set regarding bedtime limitations. In fact, having
firm rules can ease – not cause – anxiety in children. Make sure you explain the
new bedtime rules to your child. When you, the parent and/or guardian, are
consistent with the bedtime rules, your child will learn what to expect, learn
self control, and learn to adapt. In fact, they will learn to like the
predictability of the sleep routine, but the initial few days need some
determination on your part to succeed. It is also very important not to lose
ground during holidays and vacations. All adults involved in bedtime routines
should agree to act similarly so the child is not confused and learns not to
push limits with one or the other adult.
Establish a set bedtime. Establish a regular bedtime for
your child and be consistent about sending your child to bed at this time. If
you’d like to a establish an earlier sleep time than your child current has, you
can start setting your child’s bed time 15 minutes earlier every few nights
until you meet your new goal time. For example, if your child currently falls
asleep at 9:30 p.m. and you would like him or her to go to bed at 8:30, you
could start making his or her bedtime 9:15 for a few days, then move it back to
9:00 p.m. This technique is called bedtime fading. Be cautious about moving the
bedtime back too quickly or making it so early (for your own convenience) as to
make it age inappropriate. Doing so may cause your child to not be able to fall
asleep, leading to a lot of frustration. Your child’s sleep physician may
sometimes recommend a late bedtime to begin with and then advise the
fading technique. This strategy may reduce stress as you introduce the other
quiet activities and routines around bedtime noted below.
Plan up to 1 hour of quiet time before bed for bedtime routines.
Before bedtime every night, set aside up to 1 hour for calm activities, such
as listening to quiet music or reading a book. The activity should be something
that is fun, and that can be used as a tool to create a sense of approaching
bedtime. However, the activity should not be too stimulating – such as TV
watching, computer gaming, or heavy homework, which may arouse rather then calm
your child. The last several minutes of quiet time activity should take place in
the room where your child sleeps.