A temper tantrum is an unplanned outburst of anger and
frustration. A tantrum can be a physical or verbal outburst, or both, and can
involve such things as acting out, being disruptive, and displaying undesirable
behaviors because the child needs or wants something.
Tantrums are normal for children to experience as they learn to
become more independent. Tantrums are most common between the ages of one and
four, then decrease when children start school.
A tantrum usually lasts between two and 15 minutes. If your
child is having violent tantrums that last longer than 15 minutes, it may be a
sign of a more serious problem, and you should discuss your child’s tantrums
with your pediatrician.
What are the signs of a temper tantrum?
Signs of a temper tantrum include:
- whining
- crying
- kicking
- hitting
- breath holding
- pinching
- shouting
- tensing the body
- flailing arms and legs
What should I do if my child has a temper tantrum?
- Stay calm. Do not threaten, lecture, or argue with your child; this
will only make the situation worse. You can talk to your child about his or
her behavior at a later time during quiet play.
- Ignore the tantrum. By ignoring the bad behavior, you will show your
child that throwing a temper tantrum is unacceptable and ineffective.
If you are in a public place when a tantrum occurs, always stay
within your child’s sight. If you feel that your child may harm him- or herself
or others, remove your child from the environment until he or she calms down.
Remove any dangerous objects from the environment. You may want to hold your
child in order to prevent injury. If your child is completely out of control at
home, take him or her to a safe room until he or she calms down.
- Praise your child for calming down. Reinforce positive behavior and
good choices. Your child will recognize that he or she is being rewarded for
good behavior. Be specific in your praise; don’t say, "Thank you for being
good." Instead, try, "You did a nice job of using your indoor voice and not
screaming in the store." That way, your child knows exactly what behaviors
are expected.
- If needed, use a time out. This will allow time for your child to
calm down. The time out should be spent away from distractions such as
television or the computer.
- Acknowledge your child’s feelings. Let your child know that you
understand his or her frustration, and offer to help. Acknowledgement may
sometimes ease the situation, because some children are looking for
attention.
- Teach your child how to handle anger and frustration. Once children
learn how to deal with problems without getting upset, they will learn that
they can resolve some issues on their own, and will learn how to be more
independent in the process.
- Set a good example. Your child looks up to you and watches your
behavior at all times. If you show that you can handle yourself when you are
angry and frustrated, your child will begin to copy your behavior.