Topic Overview
What are temper tantrums?
A temper tantrum is a
sudden, unplanned display of anger. It is not just an act to get attention.
During a temper tantrum, children often cry, yell, and swing their arms and
legs. Temper tantrums usually last 30 seconds to 2 minutes and are most intense
at the start.
Sometimes temper tantrums last longer and are more
severe. The child may hit, bite, and pinch. These violent tantrums, in which
children harm themselves or others, may be a sign of a more serious
problem.
Temper tantrums are most common in children ages 1 to 4
years. But anyone can have a tantrum-even an adult.
Is it normal for children to have temper tantrums?
Temper tantrums are common. Most children ages 1 to 4 have temper
tantrums. Some children have tantrums every day.1
Why do children have temper tantrums?
A tantrum
is a normal response when something blocks a young child from gaining
independence or learning a skill. The child may not yet have the skills to
express anger and frustration in other ways. For example, a temper tantrum may
happen when a child becomes frustrated while trying to button a shirt or is
told it's time for bed when he or she wants to stay up.
Some
children are more likely to have temper tantrums than other children. Things
that might make a tantrum more likely are:
- How tired a child is.
- The child's
age.
- The child's level of stress.
- Whether the child has
other physical, mental, or emotional problems.
Parents' behavior also matters. A child may be more likely
to have temper tantrums if parents react too strongly to poor behavior or give
in to the child's demands.
How can you deal with temper tantrums?
Ignoring
the tantrums and helping a young child learn how to deal with anger and
frustration are often good ways to deal with tantrums. Pay attention to what
starts the tantrums. Knowing what triggers the tantrums can help you act before
your child's emotions get past the point where he or she can control
them.
You may want to use time-outs if your child age 2 or older has a lot of tantrums. A time-out takes the child out of the
situation and gives him or her time to calm down. It also teaches the child
that having a temper tantrum is not acceptable behavior. Time-out works best
for children who understand why it is being used.